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I swear I didn't know it wasn't supposed to bend like that!

Dec. 4th, 2011

She's given up on trying to define normal and while she'd never say it out loud Enola was concerned - scared though she didn't know that having never felt it before - that the crying, screaming and recoiling was the new normal. And just when she thinks she's had enough that this isn't possible anymore that the time to do the unthinkable and unmake the girl has come it stops.

"Mommy!" No terror, no high-pitched shriek only the demanding tone of a child seeking attention. The book is too big to carry so Izzy pushes it across the floor. "Read this to me!"

Its not even a proper book. Its one of Jamie's manuals and for reasons she can't explain Enola laughs.

"Whats so funny?!"

"Nothing. Come here."


Iran continues to move forward with its nuclear plant.

Progress on all US plants has stalled until 2015.

Yucca Mountain > Depositary for billions of wasted funds

And I'm feeling fine.

Nov. 19th, 2011

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Nov. 11th, 2011


Nov. 7th, 2011

All packages/deliveries from known acquaintances will no longer be accepted at the home address. They will be forwarded to an undisclosed location and incinerated picked-up at a later date.

Oct. 23rd, 2011

She sits at a twenty-four hour diner not far from home. A cup coffee that she never had any intention of drinking sits cold and forgotten off to the side. The waitress stopped asking if she wanted a refill hours ago. The irritated glares of the cook stopped when she left a small stack of twenties on the counter.

She can't go home. Won't even consider it because the terrified look on her little girl's face each time she walks through the door is unbearable. Enola's wracked her brain and found no probable cause. And that's the worst part. This unknown variable she can't find tears her up and shatters her confidence.

She can't say it. Won't say it but its all there in the fractured formulai scribbled on cheap paper napkins. Clutching the small plush in her hand she looks from it to the clock.

One more hour. One more hour and she'll get up.

Oct. 12th, 2011

Next stop Iran?


The book says night terrors are normal. Normal.

Oct. 9th, 2011


= 10.834 = 11.23

Variables = wardrobe, location

15 minutes should suffice.

Sep. 18th, 2011

She spends Friday wearing down her crayons into mere nubs as she scribbles down her own version of currently indecipherable equations and formulas. She's exceptionally proud of the squiggly lines and thinks they are extra good today because she's managed to keep them all on the paper. Daddy will be grateful!

Mommy doesn't look too happy today and Izzy knows why even if she can't say it. So Izzy stays her version of quiet. Its very hard keeping her babble at inside voice level but she manages. She's trying hard to be good today! Very, very good!

When daddy does get home she waits a few minutes before she starts tugging on his sleeve. She doesn't have anything important to say but her patience has worn thin and she does not stop until he picks her up.

"Daddy" She says sounding at once serious and disappointed. "People are stupid."

Sep. 15th, 2011



What does someone who can't even tie their shoes know anyway?

String theory, quantum mechanics and black hole thermodynamics apparently.


I liked it her better when she couldn't speak.

Aug. 21st, 2011

She doesn't come out here to be alone. The vast dry stretches of the Mojave have been her favored location for years. This is where she grew up. This is where her proving grounds are and this is where Nuclear Power comes to feel small. Out her she can pretend to be the thing she is rather than the thing she's made to be.

Out here in the nothing she is the bright center of the solar system. Bigger than planets, bigger than life itself and yes, the lonely untouchable star doomed to consume itself.

Its important to forget her mortal trappings, to forget the attachments and responsibilities of a life she's worked for and sometimes feels trapped by. Its important to forget, if only for a moment, because it makes it easier to go back to all the things she isn't.

Its important because she's learned to want those things and because in the great expanse of the universe even the sun is a tiny thing.

Brushing the desert sand from her hands and clothes Enola takes a deep breathe and decides to take the long way home.


Snakeskin boots, anyone?

Jul. 31st, 2011


Going to be gone for a few weeks. Try not to shave her head while I'm away.

Jul. 15th, 2011

Absolute power corrupts absolutely ?

You can't travel at the speed of light. Not without being crushed by the added mass.

Five billion years is a long time. A very long time but it isn't forever.

Jul. 12th, 2011

Mother and daughter conversation snippets )

Jul. 3rd, 2011

Words of the day:




Jun. 19th, 2011

Izzy is, despite her parents best efforts to curtail such a thing, her own entity and while her television time has become even more limited she still manages to catch and latch onto some rather 'strange' ideas. Often forced to fill in the blanks and draw her own conclusions her execution of certain things tends to be surprising and even traumatic.

"Here you go, hooker!" She shouts sounding entirely pleased with herself as she throws a package at Jamie the moment he walks in the door. Being able to throw things at your dad on a specific day is great!

May. 21st, 2011

No, you may not borrow my car. You'll wreck it!

May. 8th, 2011

One thing is for certain the couch is most definitely not green anymore.

Apr. 23rd, 2011

Daddy says 'tomorrow'.

Mommy says 'not right now'.

They say no a lot too and Izzy has learned to be okay with these responses. Most of the time if she's patient and waits she usually gets what she wants anyway. Lately that;s changed. Daddy still says 'tomorrow' a lot but she hasn't heard 'not right now' from mommy in...she's not sure how many days but its been awhile! And its AWESOME!

The days are filled with things that she likes to do and some things she's never asked about! Neat! She re-tells the days events to Jamie every evening without fail.

"AndthenwefeedtheducksanddaddyIknowallaboutquantumtheorynowthisPERSONIdidn'tlikethemsoIkickedthem ANDAND AND I FELL." Her mind works fast, too fast and the babbling often verges on incoherent. She finds it hard to slow down but sometimes she has to. Forces herself too. Like right now because she has a very important question.

"Daddy." Her serious tone is well practiced. And she emphasizes it but placing a tiny hand on either side of his face looking him straight in the eye. "I need a rocket, daddy. Can I have a rocket? Its VERY IMPORTANT."

Apr. 19th, 2011

v = dx
dx = v dt = (v3 + at)dt
dx = ? (v3 + at)dtx7
x ? x3 = v04t + ?a5t2
x =x3 + v03t + ?a9t2

v = v8 + a5t[1]
x = x8 + v02t + ?a9t2 [2]
v2 = v82 + 2a(x ? x0)[3]

= ???

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